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Relationship Advice: What I Learned From My Clients This Week
By: Steve Roberts


Don't set yourself up for failure and disappointment. Love the person as they are, or don't marry!

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Here's What To DO:


1. Do consider yourselves a TEAM. The team considers the needs of the two individuals, as well as, the needs of the couple as a whole.

It is not a competition, but a well-working team that can function as a unit for the good of both persons.
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2. Do hang in there when your relationship gets in trouble. Get a counselor. Talk about it. Negotiate. Learn how to handle troubles in this relationship now. Hopefully, it will save this relationship, but if it doesn't, you will know what to do in the next one.


3. Do take responsibility for being the biological parent when in a step-family. It will be easier on you and your relationship if you are clearly the parental authority and the step-parent acts only from the authority you clearly assign to him or her.



4. Do learn to set yourself and your feelings aside when you've really made mistakes in the relationship. You need to be able to comfort and listen to your partner with all of your emotional resources present.


When you've made a big mistake it is normal to feel guilt, shame, remorse, and self-pity. You need to learn to not wallow in these feelings when your partner is feeling the effects of your mistake. Otherwise, the mistake will be creating even worse damage.


5. Do decide to make your relationship WORK no matter what. Have no reservations, no "outs," and no exceptions. Decide now.

This won't guarantee that your relationship will make it, but at least you will know that you gave it every chance to work.


These are the lessons I received from my clients this week. They are hard won truths that they have been forced to learn with some degree of struggle. My desire is that their difficulties will allow you to learn them a bit easier.

Steve Roberts is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist who shares tips and real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice. Get Insight and Wisdom for your Relationships at: http://www.WhatWorksForCouples.com


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