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By: Tracey Herriot

What does it mean when he starts to clam up? Having problems getting your man to just "talk about it?" His lack of attention to you lately could be nothing but a few minor problems. Sometimes hes simply engrossed in work, or going through some family issues. As women we tend to worry when he shy's away and becomes a total mystery. We often take his silence as a bad thing, and assume it means he doesn't want to communicate, or just doesn't care. Fortunately this is not always the case. Most frequently your man cares more than you may realize, its just that he doesn't always know how to get the words out. Here are some reasons why he might be wanting to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself.

He is Afraid of Burdening You
Are you sick and tired of asking him what it is he's thinking so much about and getting the answer, "nothing" in return? You may want to step back for a short moment and think about how you might react to the problems hes been having. Your man may simply be afraid that he could have handled a situation, better. For example hes having a problem with a coworker or got in an argument with his secretary and you feel his reaction was too passive and he should have been more assertive. Make sure you communicate that you will take opinions into consideration, even if its not what you want to hear. If you reassure him you will also have a better results in getting him to talk the next time he hesitates to tell you what it is that is bothering him.

He is Afraid of Being Labeled as being too "Emotional"
Men are taught since they were boys that when they are hurt they are supposed to brush things off be a man and not express the pain, cause of course they can handle it.You need to let him know that not being emotional can be a bad thing. Men tend to be frightened of becoming emotional.
Its not just himself having the emotional breakdown that hes worried about. Remember your man cares about you, he could be very worried about you becoming emotionally disturbed by what hes wanting to tell you. A man is afraid of their own emotions, but also his girlfriend's.
It is advised ladies that you go easy on your man. Don't criticize him on not being a good communicator, rather compliment him on what he does tell you and prove to him that you are going to stay calm when he tells you more. Let him breath. He is going to be more likely to share with you if he doesn't have the extra pressure to tell you.

He Might Be Feeling Shame
If you ever hang around guys and watch when they try to make each other laugh you might be convinced that they never feel shame. However this is not true. When it comes to women we have a need to talk to someone even when we know we have made a terrible mistake. If you mix up the files at work or fax the wrong information and get into trouble with your boss you will most likely feel comfortable talking to your boyfriend about it. However a lot of men feel that you will loose faith or respect for him if he has made a similar mistake. Make sure that he knows that like you, he too is imperfect and is bound to make those mistakes every now and then. Concentrate on his strengths. If he's recently lost his job, make sure to tell him, that the economy has dropped and it was bound to happen. Even if he doesn't open up right away, he will feel more comfortable to talk to next time.

He's Facing Some Other Problems
Men unlike women are not multitaskers. Men have a harder time moving on from an unsolved problem. They like to see a solution, before they can fully concentrate on other issues. If hes clamming up at home it could simply be that he is thinking about his problems at the office. His mind is still at working trying to solve his dilemma.
Avoid pressing him for a complete explanation right after he returns home after the office. Let him relax for a bit. Make sure to give him enough time to decompress. By doing this he's going to feel more comfortable to talk because he has stepped aside from the problem. Encourage him to talk about his work after he had a bite to eat had a shower or watched his favorite television program.